Date Misfire [-1]

Now, I’m not sure I should include these stories–about “dates” that never actually happened–but I posted about being anally taken advantage of yesterday, so why not? Might as well. They were learning experiences for me, so maybe the information will be of use to someone else out there (or at least good for a laugh!).

Anyway…as you know, my first online meet-up was with a 25-year-old. So when a supposedly 26-year-old guy contacted me, I figured it was no big deal. Maybe he had mommy issues, perhaps he was jonesin’ for a home-cooked meal, whatever. He was adorable, he had a college degree, and he seemed pretty well spoken from what I could see of his profile and our email communication. So, sure–I kept replying, even though he kept postponing our in-person dates, constantly coming up with excuses for rescheduling.

Along the way, however, our electronic conversation veered into racy territory. He sent me nude shots of him, and I reciprocated. We chatted online late into the nights. I learned some stuff about his family, where he’d grown up, as well as all about what turned him on. He was tons of fun, and I couldn’t wait to meet him in person.

But then, he stopped writing me. I had no idea what had happened. Was he sick? Did I say something? Well, he was sixteen years younger than me–born when I was a junior in high school–so maybe he’d found someone closer to his own age, I figured. With his good looks and promising career, that’d be the most likely scenario, I decided.

I told my sister what had happened, since I had shared the guy’s pictures with her and she agreed–he was one tasty dish–and she said, “Hold on. Let me try something.”

What she did was something I had no idea was possible (techtarded one that I am)–she dropped his picture into Google Images to search for a match. Immediately she got a bunch of hits. My guy, as it turned out, was actually a public-domain porn image, complete with the body shots he had shared with me.

Oh no, I thought. Have I been conversing with some 600-pound shut-in? I immediately reported my fake boyfriend to the dating website, but his profile had already been taken down. Sorry, they told me, but this happens all the time. Thanks for reporting it, though!

But then I got to wondering: what kind of person would do something like this, playing a newly single mom going through a boatload of heartache via her pending divorce? So I wrote  my wayward friend a message, asking him. I assured him I was past being angry, now I was just curious and amused, because I was.

To my further amusement, he replied. He, it turned out, was actually a she. The career, family, and background details she’d shared with me were true (which was what made them so believable), but she was actually only 22, not 26. She really did favor “older” women, but supposedly, they don’t give her the time of day, so it’s easier to strike up conversation as a guy.

Wow! I replied. I’m impressed. I asked if she’d ever like to meet in real life, since I really did get along with her on a lot of different levels, but she shot me down, saying she couldn’t reveal herself after being so dishonest. In parting, however, she shared a few tips with me: Don’t trust people that will not text you, or seem reluctant to meet in person. Photos, skype, video and even voice can all be faked. When it comes to meeting people or trusting them, take it as in person or nothing at all.

Anyway, good to know!


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