Where I’ve Been

As I think about all the dates I’ve been on since the year started, yes, there have been some funny moments–lots to smile about, but even more to groan over. Right now, however, I’m in a state of confusion. I thought I had met THE ONE, but he hasn’t really called or texted all week, so I’m thinking our relationship might be over before it ever even got a chance to get started. I suppose time will tell, but at this point, I’m feeling pretty defeated. I was seeing another guy for a month before this latest, and ending that liaison left me in a state of befuddlement as well, since he acted like I was no big deal but then got all moody and maudlin on facebook after I dumped him.

Is it so wrong to want to know the truth about what guys are thinking? I’m not a game player–never have been–so maybe I’m not destined to win, but I’m clinging to hope anyway. In the mean time, though, I’ve been beating myself up over what might be wrong with me. Is the new guy avoiding me because I want too much sex? My divorce and kid situations are too high maintenance? I snore? I walk around the house naked? Who knows??? All I can say is, this latest guy, the things he says are almost spooky they’re so precisely in line with what I want and have been hoping for. No, he’s not perfect, but none of us are, and his imperfections add to his strength and character, making me all the more googly-eyed for him. And the fact that he’s hot and very well endowed doesn’t hurt, either.

*sigh*

I just hope he calls soon.

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8 thoughts on “Where I’ve Been

  1. I hate to break it to you, though I thought you would have figured it out by your age: guys don’t want to end up with sluts (I only use that word because of the title of your blog). Guys want casual relationships with sluts; they want to fuck sluts. But they certainly don’t want a meaningful relationship with them. You’ve gotta make them work for it. You bang a guy on the first date or few dates, you’ll only hear from him when he’s horny. Doesn’t make for an interesting blog, but my God woman, give that thing a rest! I wish you the best~

    1. You’re right, Jasper–total Catch-22. As far as the age thing goes, though, think of it this way: I was with my ex, out of the dating pool, from age 18 to age 42, so I’m afraid it’s kind of like I’m rocking the dating smarts of a 19-year-old. Learning, though! Appreciate your well-meant words of wisdom. : )

  2. The good news is that you’ll be just fine. It’s very natural/common to go on a tear after a divorce (thus the exes and others coming out of the woodwork after hearing of your situation). But as many have found (even guys such as Howard Stern!) all that sex just isn’t terribly fulfilling. On the contrary, people can end up getting hurt. But I think what you’ll find when you’re ready to start looking for something more serious is that there are a ton of good dudes that want you for more than just sex. You’re obviously attractive based on the guys you’ve picked up! And it’s easy to see the fun/exciting/intellectual side by your writing. Can’t come up with a more irresistible combination than that for all but the players in dating land! So just be patient and kind to yourself and good things will happen, mark my words.
    P.S. Try eharmony for a more serious crop of prospects. Sure, you’ll still find duds and maybe even a few players, but on average there are more serious people on there I’ve found.
    P.P.S I realize it’s been long enough since you’re last post that you may have already entered a more serious relationship with one of these guys and my so-called “advice” is for not! I hope that’s the case–you deserve some good-relationship-driven happiness~

    1. Aw! Thanks, Jasper! I appreciate your kind words. As you suspected, I have been dating some more serious prospects lately, so I’ve hesitated to blog about them. Trying to be good, but it’s easy to get impatient–almost got myself into trouble again tonight, as a matter of fact, but I’m hanging in there. : )

  3. Hey lady, I’ve been thinking about you and really missing your updates. I hope you are doing OK. I…uh….also beg to differ with my fellow commenter here, although I definitely admire the grace with which you accept his advice. I say nuts to that double standard of it being OK for a dude to fuck on the first date and yet not OK for a woman to. I also think there are plenty of guys who love to fuck the woman they love, and even guys who fall in love with the woman they’ve been fucking. I’m uh, speaking from experience, I guess you could say. Rock it however you want to rock it, woman!

    1. I love you, Teri! Crazy business, the dating world. So many double standards, and then just when you think everything’s going right, boom! A guy will disappear. We’ve all got issues at this point, I know, but it can be a bit disheartening. Have to say, though, it’s been fascinating getting to know so many different people! xo

  4. Yeah, I was entirely too judgmental in my first comment–sorry. Too much reading online comments to articles, etc. made me forget that I can actually be decent or even kind when posting a comment! Bad excuse, I know.
    I still don’t think banging every guy that comes along is the best policy, double standard or not (by the way, I don’t think it does guys any good either). I hear about it working every now and then where someone finds love, but then again, I also hear about people winning the lottery. They’re the exceptions. Plus, even if you could screw your way through eons of sexual injustice, what’s the point if it doesn’t make you happy? It seemed like you getting pretty bummed out by your results in the last few posts, which is why I commented in the first place.
    You’ve dealt with enough and given enough of yourself not to get everything you want out of life! I hope some of the more serious ones you mentioned are showing some potential. Don’t settle!

    1. Thank you, Jasper. Honestly, I know it sounds like I’ve slept with a lot of guys, but I’ve been out with plenty who didn’t get the cookie. Problem is, I seem to have a spot of trouble with impulse control when it comes to sex, as in, if I’m excited, I’m there. Definitely don’t want to settle, though!

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