Feeling satisfied that I had a steady supply of sex on the horizon, I proceeded to date a succession of new guys, the first of whom was Date 32. Now, online, Date 32 looked gorgeous. His photos showed a tall, lanky, blond surfer guy with a nice smile and a kind of earthy disposition. Plus, in his messages back and forth with me, he was very nice. We had a phone call, too, but I was distracted by the fact that Date 31 was on his way over to my place, so I wound up cutting things short (and yes, I realize how very wrong that was of me).
Anyway, here’s the thing: when I went to meet Date 32 in person, I knew right away that he wasn’t for me. “Earthy” actually meant “poor,” and the laid-back surfer I was imaging actually turned out to be more of a beach bum, complete with a skeezy mustache and crooked teeth. Not wanting to be superficial, however, I said hello and shared appetizers with Date 32, since you never know–could be, my instincts were wrong. But it turned out they weren’t.
The longer I sat there, making conversation, the more convinced I was that I had to get out of there and never see this guy again. The stories he told me about his kids had me siding with his ex-wives (note the plural), and the way he looked kind of reminded me of one of my uncles, which wasn’t a turn-on. Not caring if you’re going to impress or offend someone, though, is a powerful thing. It tends to lead to blatant honesty, for better or worse, so this guy got to hear all about my faith, my church, my ex, and my struggles with my kids.
Did I know those are forbidden date topics? You betcha! Maybe I’m wrong, but I think being overly honest in an attempt to scare someone away is better than flat-out saying “No,” and then walking away, or taking a covert look at a date and then bailing (both of which have happened to friends of mine!). Maybe the over-honesty is a scare tactic, sure, but it’s also a last-ditch effort to give the person a chance. Because what if you get to talking about all those touchy subjects and then learn that you actually have some rapport with the unlikely match? Could happen. In this case, though, it didn’t.
Date 32 never called, texted, or messaged me again. Guess neither one of us was feeling it.